January 2008
125 posts
Just got what the end of a good year needs: a little bit of enlightenment and my work cut out for me.
December 31st is the day I like to reflect on the lessons of the past year and eat everything in the kitchen.
“If someone decided to re-make “Chitty-Chitty Bang Bang”, (a movie I...”
– David Cross, in defense of getting paid to act in a movie meant for children There are a lot of quotables in this defensive diatribe, in which he calls out Patton Oswalt for being a hypocritical Sierra Mist-guzzling sell-out oh snap and Jason Lee for leaving an empty void, so you should probably...
Alien vs. Predator vs. New Year's Eve
A beeping sounded from the kitchen, and Predator rushed in to remove the stuffed mushroom caps from the oven. The tray was burning hot, but of course Predator was insensitive to the heat. He used his 18-inch long wrist blades to spear the mushroom caps onto a dish left to him by his nanna. A screeching from the living room was followed by an abrupt shift from the new Ghostface album to Daft Punk’s...
Sure, red is the color of Tuesday, in harmony with the universe and sure it’s a good sparkling rosé for $5. I’m still not drinking that shit.
December 2007
184 posts
Name your year
Here’s a meme that’s sure to go over like Thornton Melon on a diving board. You name your pets. You name your blog. Some of you name your car, your socks, nipples, uke, Real Doll, even your self. Why not name your year? It’s as much a character in your life as anything. How I named mine: 2007: The Year that Could 2008: Takin’ it All the Way NOTE: Don’t think too...
Subsidized Time
In the fictional world of Infinite Jest, every year is sponsored by a corporate entity and named accordingly. The realworld correlation is up for some debate, but most likely 2007 would have been Year of the Yushityu 2007 Mimetic-Resolution-Cartridge-View-Motherboard-Easy-To-Install-Upgrade For Infernatron/InterLace TP Systems For Home, Office, Or Mobile (sic) which would make 2008 Year of Dairy...
Early-20s, overheard: “This has been the best year of my life. But if this is the best year of the rest of my life, that’s not so good.”
Just heard a couple of girls giggling about a ‘nice tush’. I didn’t know girls still said that, but I’m glad they still notice.
2008: Year of Dairy Products from the American Heartland or Year of the Depend Adult Undergarment? Infinite Jest scholars - GO!
Leave the Innovating to the Stupid?
Here’s an interesting New York Times article about the paradox that says that the more expertise and knowledge one has in a field, the harder it is for that person to innovate in that field. According to the author Chip Heath,“People who design products are experts cursed by their knowledge, and they can’t imagine what it’s like to be as ignorant as the rest of us.” This, in contrast to...
My girlfriend’s use of the phrase “per se” is making it harder to convince her she hasn’t contracted kennel cough from the dog.
“Imagine how interesting things might get when she starts saying yes.”
– Sort of an odd way to end a review of a Hannah Montana concert, don’t you think, New York Times?
You know the one about the guy who walks into the bar with a pile of dogshit in his hand? Well, “look what my dog almost swallowed whole.”
Joost, always welcome in my inbox, enticing me with its Best of 2007: BoDog Fight Season 3 and Nick Cannon’s Wild n Out.
@hotdogsladies This one goes to LazyWeb: I need a site that can tell me my favorite stuff of ‘07 and leave out stuff I don’t know about.
Now that 2007 is almost over, someone should put together a list of the year’s best movies. That would be really useful to me.
Expletive Infixation (wikipedia)
Expletive infixation is a process by which an expletive or profanity is inserted into a word, usually for intensification. It is similar to tmesis, but not all instances are covered by the usual definition of tmesis because the words are not necessarily compounds. via Raza. viva la Raza. Re: Merlin. Fan-fucking-tastic.
My tumblelog’s most incoming links today came from chicagoist.com, who liked my Fartsmith joke. Playing to the crowd.
“Internet Friends FTW” - @aaronmatte with my favorite use of ‘FTW’ of 2007.
Big & Simple Ideas
There are two types of Internet startups…. Those that invent new technology. Those that invent new cultures. Google is an awesome example of #1. Tumblr is a fantastic example of #2. Tumblr does very little that is ‘new’, and everything it does was already possible (and presumably still easy to replicate). However, it pulls together familiar things in such a controlled way, that...
“Everyone has a story to tell.”
– my dad, among others
Got fed up with myself so now I sit at the coffee house, where I can dick around on the Internet without any distraction. UPDATE (v2): I’ve relocated my lazy ass to the coffee house, where nothing can distract me from dicking around on the Internet. (ed. - Take a breath first next time, Longfellow.)
I’ll take the girlie dialogue and short shorts any day. ‘Death Proof’ is a divine piece of filmmaking.
I just threw away 5 months of WIRED, unread. There may be some newly-minted jargon for that, but I have no way of knowing.
Che Fartsmith: the Website
Because I’m 12. (http://chefartsmith.net)
When a guy likes your shop so much he dances in front of it for passing traffic, it’s a mixed blessing. Especially once the shirt comes off.
Eatwell in Los Feliz got shut down for health code violations and now they’re known around here as Ratwell, which I think is pretty clever.
“There’s nothing lonelier than being a Jew on Christmas. When someone says “Merry...”
– Nathan Rabin, A.V. Club Incidentally, the way to be a non-lonely Jew on Christmas is to buy things for your family and hang out with them. That’s what I’ve always done.
Roxana got me a banjo. And that is why she is the girl of my dreams.
Dear Santa, if I don’t find ‘Larry the Cable Guy’s Christmas Spectacular’ in my stocking tomorrow, you are dead to me.
Be Kind Rewind - sweded trailers →
C'mon, she encourages her kid to eat like a pig,...
A Christmas Story is even more entertaining if you pretend the father is bi-polar and the mother is an alcoholic. — toldorknown You’re absolutely right. But Darren McGavin, Melinda Dillon, and Bob Clark are all so on their game, not much pretending is needed.
Local radio traffic report: “A few reports of puppies walking out onto the freeway, so… look out for the puppies.”
