Today, Apple Hates Me
Not that anyone cares, and this is the single most boring thing I’ll ever put on this site, but here’s a tale of woe that I only recount because it’s too long for Twitter and it’s almost funny how stupid it is.
Both my iPhone and my MacBook Pro have been rendered tits-up as of early this morning. I was putting the finishing touches on a big, big project and the following happened in order:
- My iPhone got the purple screen that tells you to plug it in to iTunes. When I did, I was told that the software on the phone had expired. No big deal, I had a developer beta of OS 3.0 on there, and had been too busy to install the current build. BUT. I go to update and iTunes tells me I have the latest software (3.0). Which is fucked because I’ve had 5 different builds of 3.0 in the past months, and if iTunes can’t tell the difference between them, iTunes is useless.
- I grab the .ipsw file of the latest build. iTunes won’t let me manually install it. Nor with Xcode. Then I remember: I’ve also been too busy to install the current version of the SDK. No big deal. I finish my big, big project and deliver it at 6AM (haven’t slept). Then I open the Installer for the SDK. I am told I must have Mac OS 10.5.7 installed in order to use the latest SDK. I have chosen not to install 10.5.7 because I’ve heard of problems with it, and updating an OS in the middle of a big, big project is a bad idea.
- Fine. I need my iPhone functioning. My plan was to go straight to the AT&T store as soon as I delivered my project, but that plan has to be postponed because I have to sync my current iPhone before I get a new one. There’s a whole switcheroo I’m going to do with upgrading my girlfriend’s first gen iPhone. It’s complicated. It always is. So I start installing 10.5.7 (I backup nightly to my Time Capsule, so if anything goes awry, I’m covered. Although I’ve never actually restored anything from the Time Capsule, so I have no idea how it’s supposed to work).
- My MacBook Pro starts the 10.5.7 install, restarts once, fills itself up with some stuff, restarts again, gets the Big Gray Apple on launch, then *pewwwwww* shuts itself off. Huh. Something happened. I start it up again, and again, shuts itself off before the Apple goes away. *pewwwwww*.
- Now the only reason I attempted to update my Mac OS was so I could update the SDK was so I could fix my iPhone. Now I’m without a functional iPhone, without a functional Mac, and I pretty much hate myself.
- To further matters, I have a 12” PowerBook sitting around. I have to at least check my .mac mail to make sure nothing’s gone wrong with the big, big project. This laptop has OS 10.4.11 installed on it. I launch Safari, go to MobileMe, which won’t run in this old version of Safari. So I go to install the new one. Start to install Safari 4. IT WON’T INSTALL BECAUSE I HAVEN’T INSTALLED BULLSHIT SECURITY UPDATE #4125-SHIT-MY-PANTS.
- Today is June 19th. It’s iPhone Day. I’ve proudly stood in line two iPhone Days in a row now, and had every intention of repeating that today. Now, if I were to enter an Apple Store, it would be to throw my laptop down on the Genius Bar and watch everyone else play with their new iPhones. But I can’t even do that. Because today is iPhone Day and there are no Genius Bar appointments available today. The earliest one was tomorrow afternoon, and I work tomorrow afternoon. It’s complicated and this is far more than I even wanted to write.
Long story short, Dear Apple: Please take measures to make sure that if a beta iPhone OS expires, it’s not difficult to update to the new one. Also, please make sure that when you update the Mac OS, it doesn’t kill computers.
UPDATE: Oh, and I forgot the best part: while my iPhone sits here on my desk, dead to me, it still emits “New Email” tones as email comes in, underneath its purple cloak of inservitude. There’s a working iPhone under there, Apple just won’t let me punch it.
Yeah. Inservitude.
UPDATE PART DEUX: Really, ReBloggers? The takeaway from my day of ironic technological pain is Mac v. PC? 1993 called. It wants its who the fuck cares back. If you’d prefer not to use one or the other, I’d really rather you didn’t.
UPDATE PART TROIS: Hard drive failed. I’m convinced that OS 10.5.7 made this happen. New hard drive purchased. Data restoration to commence shortly. I love America.
