“…I sometimes harbor this fantasy that a bunch of homosexuals will break into my apartment (not as sexy as it sounds), then dramatically toss the contents of my dresser out the window, throw me into their Ford Escape (a proud sponsor of the reality show in my head), and re-build my wardrobe and home furnishings from scratch. That seems like a very millennial kind of longing. Only in the last ten years or so has it become conceivable, and even probable, that at some point in your life a bunch of colorful characters will kick in your door and solve your problems reality TV-style. I don’t mind rushing around, or having my friends “confess” that I dress like a narc who’s gone undercover in a Midwest high school. I would let someone take a pair of scissors to my Batman t-shirt or bulky sweaters or dozens of nearly identical cowboy shorts and cargo shorts. They can destroy them and replace them with suits and ties and and monogrammed undershirts and trench coats for wet and cold weather. I don’t care—they can burn everything I own, as long as they stay away from my purple Nike Dunks. That’s my favorite pair.
— Todd Levin on aspiring to dress himself like a big boy
